What Do You Believe In?

Icarus

Fly

As high as you can

To give

All of yourself to me

Fall

To know

I will catch you

Be

Broken on the ocean

Because grace is promised

But not promised

To be easy

Drown

As your father suffers

Because of your pride

In flying so high

And now

You are with me

Merciful Author

I must not

See my life as written

But simply

A condition

Or I am lost

And a state by grace

Becomes a prayer for mercy

And all around me

Haunts me

Beauty speaking

Infused with

Didactics and prophecy

Scribbled down by

The pen

Leading me

Through the story

Chosen for me

Or just best suited for

My capabilities

Every footprint can be

An Albatross

And every journey

I crave

Or every passion

Calls

Draws

Consumes me

And just as easily

Turns on me

Tortures and damns

By branding me

Icarus

And this

Not the fastest

Or most ambitious

Best

Brightest

Or godliest

Of the feathered fools

Souring

Still Grinning

Straight for the sun

This course

The only one written

I have collected

Too many stories

To leave my life

To the whims

Of any

Page, pen, and hand

My mind can keep

Or comprehend

They Didn't Check Your Pockets

Another body

Lying in the ditch

On the road to peace

Beaten and robbed

By the creatures

That pursued him

Waited patiently

But not too long

The traveller was young

The traveller was foolish

The traveller often forgot

Where to put his feet

Always the adventurer

Always the ancient mariner

But always still stuck above the sea

And he knows

A rotting corpse

He shall soon be

Baking in the heat

Of his own infidelity

To his road

To what he knows he aims for

Would go blind and lame for

If only that would do it

Look at his scars

How he has torn at flesh

Lost in madness

Grabbing for anything

Just to manifest

What always makes sense

In his heart

But his head is a tiger

A tar patch

A poison fruit

A festering, putrid wound

In the the wilderness

His path leads out of

See
He trips

Off the stones

Into the trees

And now he can't see

All around are insects

And leaves

Snakes and stingers

Of nightmarish things

All with a quiet hum

That is thunder to him

Screaming from the world below

Into his Metaverse

And it sounds like traffic

And ringing phones

And paychecks

And news

And it smells like gasoline

To him

It's burning through his skull

He cannot see

Through the blackness

That it produces

And it confuses all his directions

And intentions

And only leads to misconceptions

Dangerous in the wilderness

Who knows what he will miss

And land

Face down

In the ditch

And without seeing

Without knowing

He can feel the road glowing

Just past his hand

Stretched out as he fell

And he smiles

Because he imagines his finger

Touching down on a single brick

And hope gently licks his face

A faithful companion

Who will never think

Her human to be dead

And with a bloody hand

He reaches to pet her head

And runs his fingers

Through her fur

So she lays down

To give her only cure

A thought

A wish

A notion

A sense of love

Of not being alone

She is a stone

Put her in your pocket

When you wish to drown in joy

Walk

And she will show you the way

She will teach you

That your path is her river

And she always delivers

If you think she doesn't

You are dull

And you must look deeper

Quiver and shake

Stammer in the face

Of the realization

That the bricks of your road

Are ebbs and flows

Look and try to be

What comes from the mountains

And flows to the sea

See where you cascade and fork

See where you lead

See oceans are clouds

And realize that you are loud

Loud enough to scream

And drown out

All those creatures

All the features

Screaming up at you from reality

And if you could be

A river

And know you are the sea

You wouldn't be in a jungle

Traveller-

Hold onto hope

She warms you

And comforts you as you die

And as you sink

You will realize

You are the ocean

In which you drown

The Captain

Where I stand is treacherous

You would call it catastrophic

I call it ambitious

With a pinch of

Foolishness

Genius

And sometimes despair

I sleep on the floor

I walk in the rain

I work in my mind

On a fractured canvass

With six paints

Two pastels

A few pencils

A bucket of accessories

And few basic chemicals

To speed up

Slow down

Or just pass the time

Welcome to the ocean

I say

With no one else here

To greet my bold venture

I think I see them

But they're busy swimming

In currents I don't know

What to think of yet

Strong opinions of some

Unreliable

Unsustainable

Unmoral

And unapologetic

To the masses

The individuals

The beauty

They consume

Fellow adventurers!

Turn the lens on me

Your humble reporter

I shine a light

Onto the little oddities

And disturbing regularities

In this sea

And I brighten the dim places

With my bizarre bulbs

Oh so electric

Forged in a factory

Where psychotic elves

Pound together

Miscellaneous parts

With band new

And sometimes

Quite useless tools

For your pleasure

Oh panicked

And nervous

Adventurers

Just now awake

To the furious ocean

Around us

Breathe in this storm

Let the water

Fill your lungs

Let the salt

Burn your eyes

Let the creatures

Swim around you

Knock them back

If they try to eat you

But pull it all into you

Don't be afraid

We all die here

In a theatre

With no plot

With no scenes

With hardly any characters

Save the ones

All the unwitting stage hands

Have already read about

Costumes and masks

Sets and props

Players and crowds

Have no distinction from

Are created by

And in turn create

The faces that lie behind

And if God asked me

Where the origin of meaning

Lies in this churning storm

Of pageantry

Tragedy

Comedy

Creation

Revelation

And integration

I would say

It resides with identity

Somewhere floating

Off in the ocean

And if he told me otherwise

The answer would be a ship

And I would be a captain

Clouds part II

The clouds slipped from the sky again

Came down to speak with me again

When I climbed the mountain far from home

This time meaning to be alone

But they had stories to tell me again

And I hope to fall

I hope to be caught

I hope to sleep

And when I wake up

I always wish it was here

In the close air

Hidden under trees

Whispering to the mist

That always catches my drift

And tries to tell me

What I've missed

Here, so often

The clouds settle down

They don't float by

There's no rush to soar up back to the sky

So everything here is quiet and still

And I can silence what haunts me still

I'm always going to miss you

But maybe I won't spend my days

Wasted and waiting at the windowsill

I can settle into the forest

Settle into the dark

Into the quiet

Into the clouds

But doubt my heart will buy it

So tell me your stories of home

Of wandering around the world

Of when you first left the oceans

Or nestled into the mountains

Tell me of the first time you rained

And all the times since

I'll tell you of one

When I left

And I could see her breathe

Heavy and rising in the air

It was cold

But not freezing

Like she said,

It'd be raining

When I was leaving

And as the clouds slip from the sky

I sit in the mountains high

Above the rain

With little more perspective

Than the stories I've gained

By listening to the oldest of voices

That doesn't speak in noises

But pictures in my mind

And music in my heart

I could call this place home

But I am only part

Of a story, and in a chapter

Where I am still alone

Run away to the mountains with me

But you said you'd never leave

So I'll call again tomorrow

And make you change your mind
Just don't make me
Leave you behind

Noises

I cant't see

I don't have that tenacity

That gumption or will

I have nothing to sell

Nothing worth money-just hell

If you want it

I'll give it for free

But let me tell you

If you take it

Just kill me

Because

If you need it that bad

If this world is that mad

Than all of you can have it

I don't want it

All I want is precious

I will share it

And if I need sustenance

I will ask

And hope

That what passes between us

Can wean us

From a sense of need

From a sense of greed

From a sense of taking

Of giving

Of craving

And controlling

Of knowing

Noises

My dear

Those are all

Only noises

The World is Ending

The world is ending

Because 40 doesn't sound fun

Because 2012 has filled the air

Because—oh God you've got a pretty face

But it won't matter when the zombies come

The world is ending because we've seen the future

And we don't want to work for you

Plug our brains in and upload for you

Because your houses are ugly

And we're all going to fry under the sun anyways

The world is ending because of all those commies over there

And all these nukes over here

Because the big one is coming

Because the smokers are bumming

Because the suites are running

The world is ending because the banks can't keep tabs on their cash

Because our smart phone says the next iPad is out

But there's something wring with our GPS

Ah hell—we just haven't left the store

The world is ending because the news is a bore

It's the same murder we've seen before

And these politicians have swapped the same cash

In this same room a hundred times before

And they're still at it

The world is ending because the oils is burning

The soldiers are killing

The rich are rolling

And all us kids owe money already

The world is ending because your coupon is about to expire

But this lady in line ahead of you

Just got our her change purse

Opening it slowly

With reverence

Because she remembers when it was all she had

The last time this all went South

And she knows it probably will again

Because Goddamn it these rich bastards

Will never keep their shit together long enough

To even make a fake promise anymore

The world is ending

Because it always ends

Well ain't that just typical

I guess it can go to hell

Consuming Shimmer

I've walked these streets before

Knowing nothing

Over stimulated

By all the people

And noises

And signs

Nothing to me but a shimmer

Above a deep reality

Even Deeper if I

Could live in it and see

Even deeper if I

Could be in it and

Truly perceive

But still deep as just a dream

And giving depth to this life

On the other side of the world

I saw the crowded streets

In the picture you handed me

Deep familiarity

Surprised me

Tumbled in my mind

With scents and sounds

Smiles and brushes

Against my shoulder

As a thousand unfamiliar

And so far from understood

Faces passed

I remember feeling lost

Even on the right path

Not just different sights

A different world

All reduced to forms

When listening and reading

Mean nothing anymore

Vivid and Pure

With sturdy

Untraceable roots

Deep into my memory

Deep into my past

But only a shimmer

That didn't last

It was Something

I guess this is

By means of an apology

To the people I love

Because the people I hate

Drove me away

And I couldn't stay

Because what haunts me

Outweighed

what holds me

Holds me close to the ground

Close to the heart

Close to my reasons

My music

My words

And my art

And given

Part of what I hated was me

And I have to

I must presume you can see

That this is my life

And your life

And the paths of so many

It's what so many

Must solve

To see

Why they are agitated

Or comfortable

Or benign

Or unfulfilled

Sometimes

It's just a matter of will

So I had to see

Is it me

Is it here

Is it you

Or them

Or something ancient

Or modern

Or always

Or nothing

I guess I'm just trying

To make something

Work

Phantom Limb

Last night I dreamed

                  of energy

And rings of healing

And radiating emblems of light

Formed as the Seed of Life

Scattered, hidden and secret

Created, because we were called

To share Love

These were the wells

For the thirsty to find

And fill their cups

The Balms of Gilead

Returned to the Earth

To prepare us

And heal us

And make us whole

I could reach through it

Touch your hand

And hold it

From all the world away

Not Alone

You have the only voice that can shake this

The only words that can take this

And make this something

I know is silly

And I see that

I'm not so weak just yet

I can still flow in the river

And not flail in the water

Flop towards the bank

And die

Gasping for air

In the sunlight

That was once my fight

All I wanted

All I craved

All I questioned

All I saved

Because it is precious

I tucked it under my pillow

Where I will lay my head

And sleep

And I stop crying and sink deep

Into what I hope for

What I try to see

I know what peace is

I have heard wind tell me

The river I ride propels me

But I am only a canoe

And I don't know

What I can do to see

That you are here with me

So I struggle

My thumbs search for buttons

My ears search for ringing

My mind says please

If I can just hear you singing

One song

Say goodnight

Say I love you

That's enough

Is it wrong

To long for something

Or someone

All I have is here

Because my sense of self

Of here or there

Of not or real

Is still here

And when I get like this

It's all a mess

And I have no guess

What to know

What to question

What answers to search for

Or what riddles to guess at

What doors to knock at

What idols to gawk at

And pray to

And hope through

And I don't know

What to crave

Is a craving

A want

Or need

Something just in passing

What should I seek

What is meaning

What is my greeting

When you finally answer the phone

And tell me

My love

You aren't alone

Clouds part I

I watch the clouds come down from the sky

Brush the top of the forest as they float by

Like gentle hands in torn up sleeves

Running their fingers through the trees

Like they were reaching for an old friend

Seen only now and then

Before the sun washes them away again

The wrong wind guides us

The trees and the mountains don't hide us

Because everything that is us

Is outside us now

And I look to my horizons for peace

As if in the place where the skies and the forest meet

I can disappear

Into the oldest of stories told

The road home smells of pine

The sun rises over the mountains as the rain stops

And the day begins like this

It was all an extravagance

All of it done in arrogance

And this wilderness becomes our existence

With a ribbon of icy highway flying though

This road home is long

We wind through the mountains in a bitter haste

And last night ends like this